Our minds can be our own worst enemies at times. There are always barriers to overcome in any important endeavor. For me, at least, one of the biggest barriers I have to overcome on a daily basis is my constant self-doubt and anxiety. This short reflection is about a small victory that was influenced by, of all things, professional wrestling. That may sound very strange, almost unbelievable – but one thing I've learned from Chikara is to suspend my disbelief, trust my instincts, and just have fun.

In an effort to not bore anyone with my full life story and all my problems, but to get straight to the point, it will help to disclose one thing that shapes my world daily. That is anxiety. I have received, and am still receiving, treatment and therapy due to my anxiety. It's hard to explain it fully to people – and sometimes, the response I get – from people who are genuinely just trying to help – is “stop worrying so much!” Suffice it to say, I'm also a good listener, and I have tried to do this alone. But it didn't work. I have tried a lot of things to make the anxiety go away, and while some have been destructive, some have been very positive.

But, as much as I hate to admit it, no matter how much self-reflection, therapy, and optimism I develop, there is always a strong thought process in my mind telling me that what I'm doing is worthless, wrong, pointless, and even destructive and unlikable. I have gained some insight into why that is, and I realize that a large part of overcoming this anxiety is to take risks. The best ways I've been able to help myself, and those around me, are when I acknowledge just how nervous I am to do something, but do it anyway. And if there is one thing I am extremely nervous about, it's actually letting other people read the things I write.

And yet...you're reading this right now. So obviously, at least for now, I've overcome this anxiety to get a victory – a positive feeling – regardless of what happens from here. Even if everyone thinks this is garbage, even if that anxious little voice in my head is somewhat right, it doesn't matter because I actually accomplished something. I actually did something! Yay! SUPA DANCE PARTY!

“But Jeremiah,” you're thinking, “that's great and all, but where does this professional wrestling come in? Where does this Chikara thingy come in?”

Simple. I have had this good feeling many times before – the feeling of happiness in actually taking a risk, in doing something despite my reservations, of abandoning my fears and worries even for a brief period and having fun.

October 8, 2011, I attended my first – and sadly only, to this point – Chikara live show. It was titled “Klunk in Love,” and happened in Kingsport, Tennessee. For months, I was excited about the possibility of going. I became interested in Chikara a few years prior, and really enjoyed what I had seen. Finally! Chikara live, less than an hour away from my home in Middleofnowheresville, Virginia (not the actual name of my town, of course, but it might as well be). I recruited a couple of friends to come with me, and they were just as excited after they started getting into Chikara. So I was really excited.

I was also incredibly anxious about it. For whatever reason, my anxious nature kept telling me, “dude, this is going to be a disaster for you, just watch.” My anxiety truly knows no bounds, and I can come up with the craziest scenarios when I'm in that anxious mode. “What if my friends hate it, and decide they don't want to be my friend anymore because it was that bad?” “What if I accidentally offend a wrestler or Chikara staff member, and they all hate me forever?”

I couldn't have been more nervous walking into the show.

Then Gavin Loudspeaker came out, warming up the crowd. He was so enthusiastic, and obviously having fun. I started to relax a little bit. But I was still nervous. Gavin announced the first match, and the entrance music started...

Marching band music...

Then Archibald Peck emerged, in full drum major regalia, and led his entourage (at that time, Veronica and COLT CABUNNY who I, like the rest of the crowd, immediately started cheering because it's COLT CABUNNY) to the ring. One of my anxieties – that my friends wouldn't like it – immediately disappeared as I heard my friends behind me laughing hysterically. “Well...at least they're happy,” I thought. And I began to relax and really enjoy the show.

There were too many enjoyable things that happened that night – too many little, entertaining details – for me to actually recount ALL of them without missing something. Having said that, here were a few of my favorites:

-”BOTTOM ROPE! BOTTOM ROPE!” Yes, there was an unplanned star that night – the bottom rope. I'm no expert in wrestling ring engineering, so I'm not sure exactly WHY it happened, but the bottom rope went slack, then came off the ring posts completely, during the the first match. There were attempts to fix it all night, but it wouldn't cooperate. Of course, the show went on, and eventually, the bottom rope chant started. I'm not a big fan of wrestling crowd chants in general, but it was pretty great, and easy to join in.

-Chuck Taylor's almost unbelievable hi-pitched screams. I bet there are aspiring opera sopranos that wish they could hit those notes.

-Ophidian's kindness during intermission. I was still a bit intimidated, and one friend that also attended is extremely shy. Ophidian was so nice, enthusiastic, and funny that even she, one of the most shy people I know, posed for a picture with him. It was really cool.

-Hallowicked bringing a vegetable tray out from backstage and sharing it with the crowd. No joke.

-A little interaction that only a few people near me might have fully caught. Tursas and Green Ant fought their way through the crowd to the back. At one point, when Green Ant got the upper hand, Tursas pulled a kid in front of him, as a shield. The kid was bewildered (as I would have been), and his mom was NOT happy about it. But as they walked away, the kid seemed fine. His mom asked, “are you okay?” He said, “yeah...but he SMELLS.” I couldn't stop laughing (probably one of those “you had to be there things”).

As we left, several of the wrestlers formed a receiving line near the exit, to thank all the fans for coming. I have been to many wrestling shows, and I have honestly never seen anything like that. It was just the icing on the cake – the fact that these performers, who worked hard to entertain us all night – would be humble enough to even wish us well and thank us for coming.

That Chikara show was definitely one of the most fun nights I've had as a wrestling fan. It was definitely the best wrestling show I've ever seen. Notice that I mentioned all the little details without talking about the wrestling? That was one of the craziest things I took away. The in-ring action was awesome. The matches were all fun to watch. But they were just one facet of an overall experience that I can't say enough good things about.

But when I go back to my original point – here's, for me, the coolest take away I had from Chikara. As I returned home (after a car ride filled with a basic discussion of “oh man, and what about THAT? AND THAT? Man that was awesome), I realized something else.

The anxiety, the nervousness, I had before the show, was gone. I felt happy – with no reservations. I think part of that was due to the quality of the entertainment. But there was another factor. I realized that for all of the reservations, the anxiety, I had before going to the show – all of the times I second and third and fourth guessed whether I should even bother, and all of the doomsday scenarios that floated through my head – I still went ahead, took the risk, and went to the show. And for a brief moment, I felt better about myself.

When I sat down to write this, I had similar thoughts of anxiety. “What if I write this and everyone hates it?” “What if I write this and no one reads it?” “What if I pour out a few words, open a little window to my world, and nothing good comes of it?”

Then, I thought back to that one October night, where I had those same reservations, and realized when I just took the chance to see Chikara, I had a great time.

That's why I'm enthusiastic about Chikara. That's how pro wrestling helped me, how Chikara helped me, if only for one night, overcome my constant worries, be myself, and have fun.

And that's why I pass this on to others. Check out Chikara sometime – you'll find something you like, and you won't be disappointed.

And even if you don't love it – at least you took a chance. At least you tried something new. And that can be rewarding in itself.

Thanks for reading.